Without the Electoral College America Could Have Had 28 Straight Years of Democratic Presidents

Recently, President Dipshit McMoron and his Republican supporters have had a hard-on for the Electoral College. In fact, Tubby Tinyhands Don tweeted about how great the Electoral College was just this week.

If you want to understand just  how stupid Trump’s very cliche pro-Electoral College argument is, consider how much time candidates spending in New Hampshire or in Iowa compared to how much time they spend in California, New York, or Texas. The small states already dominate the large ones unfairly. This is the poorest of the pro-Electoral College arguments, and there are a glut of terrible arguments for keeping it to choose from.

If you want to know why Republicans defend the Electoral College so adamantly, it doesn’t take anything approaching a degree in political science. All it takes Google, or a history book, and a very modest amount of critical thinking. At the end of it all, their reasoning is extremely easy to understand when you simply look at what has happened in presidential elections since George H.W. Bush won his first and only election in 1988.

Since that time, the Republican candidate for president has won the popular vote a sum total of one other time, 2004, when Bush’s son Dubya was up for re-election. Four years prior, Bush became the first president in a long, long time to lose the popular vote and still win the election. Of course, it also took a conservatively-tilted Supreme Court to step in and order Florida to stop counting votes, but hey, that’s a discussion for another time.

But Dubya came after eight years of Bill Clinton, a Democrat, who won the popular vote both times he was elected president. So we got the clusterfuck of 2000 after that, add in a couple of wars financed on government credit cards, an economic meltdown, and we land ourselves squarely in 2008. That’s when Obama, who wiped the floor with both John McCain and Mitt Romney, came onto the scene. Obama ushered in and oversaw eight more years of Democrats in the White House. Meaning that in 24 years, Democrats occupied the Oval Office for 16 of them. And then, oh then we got 2016 and all the Russian dressing drenched madness that came with it.

Donald Trump is our president. I don’t like it, but he is. And he’s president for the same reason that Dubya became president — almost 250 years ago a deal was struck with slave holding states to further erode the electoral power of the north. That deal is called the “Electoral College,” and it’s not just about “ensuring equal representation” in the states. It was about ensuring that whites were equally represented and black people weren’t represented at all. It’s also a nonsensical vestige of antidemocratic hysteria. Democracy isn’t “mob rule,” it’s logical. If more people want to pull a cart left than right, the sheer math of it works out in the leftward pullers’ favor.

When you look at the issue from 50,000 feet high, it’s so easy to see what’s up there. The Republican Party absolutely depends on a system that every so often rewards the less popular ideas and candidate. That’s a nice way of saying the Electoral College lets scared people pretend the rest of the country doesn’t think they’re backwards-as-hell. Some can argue that helps us “cool off” and not boil over with rage over social and legal issues, but that’s nonsense.

There is already equal representation in Congress, where the laws are written. Those laws dictate policy to the states, in a way, though in our federal system of government the states still have wide berth to craft laws they want that reflect their population’s beliefs. Of course, the reality is in a system where one person gets one vote for president, states are also equally represented. In fact, if conservatives want to cling to “One Nation, Under God,” maybe they should stop pretending just because you live in Iowa you’re some kind of protected class of minority and deserve extra voting power.

Conservatives like to pretend the popular vote way of selecting a president would mean the country would break into this giant blocks of people. Libtards in the coastal states, salt of the earth patriots in the middle. But the truth is that in every state there are varying amounts of liberals and conservatives. Some lean harder one way or the other, but at the end of the day, we’re all 300 million people spread out over 50 separate little territories voting for ONE person. Why do we need have a system that rewards the candidate who convinced fewer Americans overall they should be the chief executive?

We shouldn’t. Unless we belong to a political party that has shown itself incapable in most instances of convincing people their ideas are the better ones. Or, perhaps unless you belonged to a political party that knows without it, you’d have likely not sniffed the White House for almost 30 years. Now, you could say that I have no idea if someone would have beaten an incumbent Democrat in any of the elections that Republicans lost the popular vote in. That’s fair. Maybe Gore or Hillary would have been one-term presidents…then again, the only one-term president of the last thirty years was, what?

You guessed it. A Republican.

The Electoral College is, like slavery and Jim Crow, a sad reminder of how racist our country once was, and a stark reminder of how far we still have to go. The thing is, a Republican candidate could absolutely win the popular vote; they’ve done it once in the last 28 years, so we know it’s doable. But the party is, no matter how hard they scream to the contrary, pretty much opposed to what average, mainstream Americans want and think and feel. They can harp on “social justice warriors” (and ironically try to claim the legacy of one of the biggest SJWs ever, Martin Luther King, Jr.) all they want, but the simple truth is that progressive, tolerant thought still dominates the mainstream, because most of us aren’t selfish sociopaths hell bent on a white ethnostate.

But let’s just get back to basics and say it one more time, for emphasis:

Without the Electoral College, America could have had 28 straight years of Democratic presidents. Republicans know it, they fear it, and they understand they have far worse chances of winning without it. Sure, they could just update their policy goals and live in the 21st century, but why do that when they can insist the 19th and 20th centuries never happened anyway? Then again, maybe they want to keep the Electoral College for the simple fact that the popular vote exposes something very basic when they lose it:

The Republican Party isn’t that popular.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.

James' newest satirical compilation is out now and available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and soon at WalMart.com.

More from James Schlarmann