Stable Genius Trump Says Wind Power Causes Cancer

I don’t want to shock you too much, so before reading any further, make sure you’re in a safe space, preferably sitting or lying down, and near a phone in case you need to call medical professionals for immediate assistance. When you’re in such a state, go ahead and scroll further.

President Donald J. Trump is a fucking moron.

I know, I know. It’s hard to believe that the guy who stared at the sun during an eclipse to “own the libs” is less than smart. I know it’s beyond all conceivable logic that the man who keeps repeatedly claiming his dad was born in Germany when we have Fred Trump’s New York birth certificate is stupid. And, yes, I know that it’s just impossible to imagine that the man thinks stealth technology makes jets literally invisible, or that thinks Tim Apple is the iPhone guy isn’t all that intelligent, but well, I’m sorry to say, our president is a bonafide, true blue moron.

I present to you yet one more piece of evidence of Trump’s titanic stupidity — he thinks turbines that create wind power give people cancer. You have no clue how much I wish this was one of my fake news stories.

“If you have a windmill anywhere near your house, congratulations, your house just went down 75 percent in value. And they say the noise causes cancer,” the president said while delivering remarks at the National Republican Congressional Committee’s annual spring dinner. He offered no evidence to support the claim. (The Hill)

Try to contain your shock, but I couldn’t find a single academic paper, or even a loony right-wing blog talking about this. Needless to say, this is one more time that Trump is speaking utterly and completely from his hind quarters. It makes me wonder if he somehow justifies his lies by calling them “bullshit.” Because this is clearly yet another thing he’s making up out of whole cloth. Sadly, his base will lap it up.

Whether or not someone agrees with a proposed solution to climate change and global warming, it’s beyond stupid and downright dangerous for the most powerful man in the world to be going around making up lies about sustainable power solutions. Even as a progressive who isn’t afraid of nuclear power done with the right modern considerations and technologies, it’s still crazy to think of the President of the United States just fabricating a side-effect of wind power for no other good reason than he’s a Republican and Republicans have to be anti-climate now, I guess.

I wasn’t able to find anything on wind turbines and cancer, but The Washington Post was. Apparently, this Trumpian lie comes from 2012, the time he was fighting the government of Scotland putting turbines near his golf course in that country. While in the PR battle, he used Twitter to, and you might see a pattern here, tweet out anything and everything that attacked his opponents, even if it was from utter garbage websites with no grounding in real science whatsoever.

That story was featured on an anti-wind-energy site that, at another point, argued that people working in the wind industry had been subjected to “numerous serious illnesses and, yes, many deaths, mainly from unusual cancers.” Perhaps needless to say, this is not grounded in any robust evidence. Any negative effects, in fact, appear to be psychosomatic. (WaPo)

Conservatives today like to pretend like they’re the pro-science ones because they acknowledge “life” begins at boner, or whatever. But I don’t remember any liberals straight-up lying and making up side-effects of guns like they give you cancer and shit. The GOP may try to distance itself from Trump at some point in the future, but right now, he is the embodiment of all their low-information garbage talk on climate change. He might as well just have Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity deliver all his talking points on the subject.

Don’t forget, he also recently complained that wind power isn’t reliable enough because it “only blows sometimes.” Ironic, because that’s also his main complaint about his daughter, Ivanka. Oh, you didn’t know? Donald Trump wants to have sex with his daughter Ivanka. The Mueller Report wasn’t necessary for that.

As if claiming that wind turbines cause cancer isn’t stupid enough, Trump also argued that turbines kill lots of birds, while offering zero evidence for those claims, naturally.

“If you love birds, you never want to walk under a windmill, because it’s a sad, sad sight,” he said, though the Department of Energy has noted that bird deaths from windmills are rare.

If we’re smart, as progressives, we’ll keep bringing these stories up to young voters who are getting engaged for the first time this election cycle. We know from opinion polling that the younger the electorate, the more important climate change is as an issue. It makes sense, young people are in the worst possible position to live with the ramifications of Captain Stupid’s policies. There is a litany of things wrong with that man, but nothing is more obvious than his addiction to lying.

Wind turbines don’t cause cancer, that we know of anyway. But we do know for a fact that Trumpism is a cancer on decency, intelligence, and compassion, and American greatness. So, there’s that, at least.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.

James' newest satirical compilation is out now and available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and soon at

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