Trump Bullies The “Free Market” Like His Party Thought Obama Was Doing

I know this will like come as an enormous shock to you all but…Donald Trump is a hypocritically self-unaware master at projection, which makes him fit in absolutely perfectly well with modern day Republicans.

Over the years, first growing up in a very religiously conservative house, I lost count of the times I heard how bad it was for any politician to “put their thumb on the scale” or “choose winners and losers” in the highly-vaunted, much-revered, high holy free capitalist market. And the people I heard over and over again that were most capable of this kind of disgusting, tyrannical federal overreach were liberal Democrats. A conservative Republican would rather poke their eyeballs out with hot needles than weigh in and tilt the scales of the free market in anyone’s favor or direction.

Apparently, a whole lot has changed in the Republican Party since I was force-fed a diet of angry Rush Limbaugh rants about socialism and the Democrats’ power grabs into the private sector. I make this assumption based on the evidence that Donald Trump, the party’s standard bearer, gives us. While you and I can see from a country mile that Trump is as “conservative” as he is definitely a billionaire, but to Trumpers he’s the second coming of Abraham Lincoln — who was, of course, not really all that conservative for his time. We have to take their word for it though, he’s the Number One Conservative Republican in the land now, and he has shown his appetite for bullying private companies is as big as his appetite for hamberders and KFC.

Before he even took office, Trump was bullying private companies. Take Carrier, who manufactures air conditioners and their parts. In December of 2016, Trump toured a factory set to be shuttered, and used enormous public pressure to extract a promise from Carrier that they’d save those jobs. Where were the screaming Rush Limbaughs? The apoplectic Tucker Carlsons? Nowhere to be found.

And of course, in typical Trumpian fashion, the deal not only fell apart, but more than 500 workers ended up losing their jobs when the factory moved them to their location in Mexico.

Carrier said this week that 1,100 workers will remain at the factory, upholding its deal with Trump. They include 730 manufacturing jobs and about 300 engineering and administrative positions that were never slated to move.

But Carrier also laid off 338 manufacturing workers in July and another 215 this week. Those jobs are going to the company’s plant in Monterrey, Mexico, where workers make about $3 an hour, according to Indiana union officials. (Reuters)

Trump also bullied American motorcycle icon Harley-Davidson. When Harley announced their plans to move manufacturing operations out of the U.S. for some of their bikes, Trump lost his mind. Imagine this — a sitting U.S. president encouraged his followers to punish a U.S. company. Why? Because the effects of his idiotic policies hurt the company’s bottom line so much — something serious economists warned would happen time and time again — they had to move. He got his feelings hurt because he was made to look like the incompetent idiot he is, and in his rage tweeted in ways that would have gotten Obama impeached before he clicked “Tweet.”

President Mushroom Don continued his assault on the private, capitalist, almighty free market this week. He attacked both General Motors, because he’s an idiot who doesn’t get how tariffs work, and several big tech companies because he’s an idiot who doesn’t get how algorithms work.

Tiny Hands McGee started pummeling GM when, like Harley, they announced that Trump’s trade war with China was forcing them to close a plant in Lordstown, Ohio. We all know why Trump cares about Ohio, and it’s not because he has a genuine affection for the Buckeye State. He knows if he loses Ohio, he loses next year. So here comes General No-Balls Jackson to ride in and try to save the plant.

Trump hit GM on multiple fronts over multiple days.

NBD, just the President of the Unites States demanding a private company reopen their factory doors. I’m sure Lindsey Graham would have given Obama a sloppy handy for such a thing, right, fam?

If Obama had even tweeted something asking nicely for GM to reconsider, Paul Ryan would have had the impeachment papers on his desk faster than he could smile after punching a poor orphan in the mouth and taking his food stamps away. But Trump slamming his fat fingers all over his iPhone and making demands of private companies? Nah, that’s no big deal to Trumpers. That’s just him “being tough” or “telling it like it is” or “acting like a giant man-baby beeotch.” Okay, I added that last one. Sorry.

Here’s Tubby McStupid putting the screws to Google. I have no idea what “they helped Crooked Hillary Clinton” means, but the good news is that I don’t think he does either. I’m pretty sure he’s like Pavlov’s Insanely Stupid Dog and just has a programmed response to someone putting a phone in his small little hands with Twitter open wherein he has to tweet some inane B.S. about Hillary Clinton.

Of course Trump trying to bully the writers, cast, and crew of Saturday Night Live is a violation of their First Amendment rights, but it’s also more executive overreach into the private sector. NBC is a private company, not state-run media like Fox News. Trump has no legal authority to complain about a satirical outlet mocking him. It’s not slander. It’s not libel. It’s satire. If Obama or Bill Clinton had demanded the FCC investigate…oh, wait, there is no conservative equivalent because conservative “comedy” is Larry the Cable Guy retweeting fart jokes and Dennis Miller cracking esoteric dog whistle Islamaphobic jokes. So no Democrat could behave this way.

Make no mistake — his tweets about Judge Jeanine Pirro’s show are the same exact thing as his tweets about SNL. He is abusing his power in the most obvious, transparent, Nixonian way. I’m not surprised that Republicans aren’t smacking him down for this; they’re cowed little cowards. But someone has to call this sort of behavior out from within his party.

I’m glad that Mitt Romney and others are rebuking him for attacking John McCain’s corpse, but perhaps they should grow another set of scruples and try to remember their “small government” principles when it comes to the economy.  I won’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen though. I like living, still…jussssssttt barely thanks to the kakistocratic conmen in office.


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.

James' newest satirical compilation is out now and available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and soon at WalMart.com.

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